You know all potatoes have eyes. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Potato had eyes for each other and they finally got married and had a little one, a real sweet potato, whom they called Yam. They wanted the best for little Yam telling him all about The Facts of Life. They warned him about going and getting Half Baked because he would get mashed, get a bad name like "hot potato" and then end up with a bunch of adopted tater tots. He said not to worry, no Mister McSpud would get him in the sack and make a rotten potato out of him! But he wouldn't stay home and become a couch potato either, he would get plenty of food and exercise so as not to be skinny like his shoestring cousins. Mr. and Mrs. Potato even told him about going off to Europe and to watch out for the "hard boiled" guys from Ireland. And even the greasy guys from France called the french fries they also said he should watch out for the Indians when going out west because he could get scalloped. Mr. and Mrs. Potato wanted the best for Yam, so they sent him to Idaho PU. That's Potato University where the big potatoes come from. When he graduates, he'll really be in the chips. But one day he came home and said he was going to marry James Munoz. Mr. And Mrs. Potato said he couldn't marry him because he's just a commen-tator.
Ketchup, it's 2018.